Thursday, March 28, 2013

Communication

The definition of "communication" according to Google is:
  1. The imparting or exchanging of information or news.
  2. A letter or message containing such information or news.

Basically we use it to talk to people to let them know how we are feeling, what we want them to know, to comfort them, or whatever else our silly little brains decide we need to say. It's such a simple thing yet can cause so many problems and misunderstandings. 

I believe that most of the arguments people get into is from a misunderstanding of what one person says. Think about your most recent argument. If it was about a difference of opinions. What probably happened (this is just my observation of what normally happens. Don't start yelling at me if I'm wrong.) was you tried to convince them that your opinion is correct and there's is incorrect. As you were arguing you were trying to find a way to make that person understand what is going on in your head. I don't know about you but when I try to do this I can never express myself in the way the would best express what is actually going on in my head. It is extremely frustrating. 

As humans we have become more and more used to communication and have created short cuts to make our conversations take less time. For example:

  1. They're = they are (are we too lazy to say two whole words and we just made one?!)
  2. lol = laugh out loud (too lazy to type three words out...pretty soon we are going to be making up our own abbreviations like "iduwyta" Translation: I don't understand what you're talking about (well that seems to explain everything extremely well)
  3. it = anything in the world
  4. he = Steve (but only if you know who you're talking about)

I recently had a conversation that went like this:

"What channel is it?"
"What?"
"What channel is it?"
"I don't know what you're looking for."
"I don't know what's on."
"..."

What is this it you speak of? You don't know? Then why didn't you just ask "Do you know what's on?" I don't understand! It doesn't make any sense!

I have noticed a lot of experiences like this occurring. Sometimes my friends won't even say anything just make facial expressions and wave their hands randomly and I will translate the meaning. How? Good at deduction I guess (honestly though, I have no idea). Recently I have done it so much that now my friends will be eating, mumble something incomprehensible, and then point to me expecting me to translate. Half the time I'm not even paying attention to their conversation and am talking to somebody else when they start waving at me and expect me to know why. I'm sorry, I don't understand mime. If I knew what you were talking about I might be able to make a reasonable guess but with no context I will either say "I don't know" or I will make something up.

Also I realize that sometimes things happen and you are annoyed and don't want to talk about it more than you have to. However, if you tell somebody at a large table where many conversations are occurring and then expect everybody to know what you said you are greatly mistaken. If I ask you about it later and you get mad at me because you already told "everybody" think about when you told everybody. Was I actually there? Was I actually in your conversation? Why would I be asking if I already knew the answer? It doesn't make any sense to get mad at me (or anyone else for that matter) because they ask you a question they know the answer to. If you have answered the same question many times for the same person, fine, you get at least tell that person that you already told them and if they say "No, you didn't" obviously they have poor memory or are just being mean.

I hate the question "Do you know...?" Because never know if they are asking you because they want to know or if they know and want to know if you know and if you don't know they will tell you (did that make sense?) It's a double sided question and half the time you answer wrong and then they get mad at you.

The of course there is gossip. Don't do it. Just don't. It may seem fun but I guarantee you that the person that it is about will eventually hear it and then it will just create more chaos then there needs to be. If you hear something from your friends brother that heard it from this guy that was told by this guy on his team that his girlfriend was told by her cousin that this happened stop and think. Is the source really credible? Yes? Do you even know who that person is?! Probably not. Plus what happens through that long chain of conversation is a game of telephone. I seriously doubt that the original comment will be told the correct way. Everybody interprets facial expressions and voice inflections differently. Plus some people probably don't care what happens to the person the rumor is about and could make it sound more exciting so their friends think they are cooler than they actually are.

We use communication all the time. Heck. We even use it when talking to our pets and our pets use it to communicate to us. Do we understand it? No, not always. Communication is an amazing thing and really helps us to get along but it can also tear people apart. One little slip or failure to filter what you're saying can cause you to lose a friend. With communication comes the responsibility of understand what is being said. If what is being said is misunderstood what was the point of saying it? If I say something and you ask me to repeat it and then I say never mind I guarantee that it wasn't that important. If I don't repeat it it wasn't that important. If it's a joke you missed it and it's no longer funny. If I have something important to say I will tell you.

Well this has been a long post and I got side-tracked. I wasn't going to talk about half of that and didn't talk (write? whatever) about what I wanted to so I will probably make another post about this. Hopefully it will be more humorous and shorter. Oh, sorry if there are a ton of grammatical errors.
  
Don't forget to stay classy and don't cause problems that can be prevented simply by closing your mouth.

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