What is friendship? Well that's a tricky question. It varies from person to person. This is what Google says the meaning of friendship is:
- The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.
- A relationship between friends.
Really helpful right? That's probably why we all have our own definitions of friendship. I don't really now how to put my "definition" into words or even a one sentence explanation. It's not just "Oh yeah I have friends that I hang out with sometimes." It's so much more. For me friendship isn't just about talking and hanging out with people. It's what you DO for that person. Do you help them when they need help? Do feel awful if you get in an argument and want to find someway to fix it right away? Do you stand up for them if others talk badly about them or do you join in?
Everybody shows their friendship in a different way. Some go with the talking route; so they give their friends a lot of compliments and openly say how awesome their friends are. Others take the actions route; helping their friends through their actions. There are a lot of other ways people can show their friendship. I prefer actions because I think its harder for somebody to do something for somebody without really caring. People can lie and get away with actually feeling bad for something. Actions are harder to fake. At least I think so.
Every relationship requires a give and take. This is the same with friendships. You can NOT keep asking for something over and over again and never return the favor. Say you're at lunch with your friend and everyday at lunch you ask if someone will go across the street with you to buy lunch. Do you have that friend that always goes with you? Yeah, most people do. I happen to be one of those friends. Now say that same friend asks you to go with them. Do you go? I sure hope you said yes. I have been so annoyed when people refuse to help me even though I have helped them so many times I can't keep count (not that I would want to but still). For me personally I getting to the point where I was just done. If I wasn't going to get any help in return why should I return the favor. That may sound selfish but after always helping people it makes sense.
Think back to the same situation I was just ranting about. If you go with your friend do you go to benefit yourself? Is the first thing you ask "Will you buy me something?" when you already have a lunch? Now who sounds selfish. I never ask that question. When I do think about myself it's more of a "Will I be back in time for class" type of question. If you're going with your friend just so you can get something for free I don't think that's a very good friendship. That almost seems like you are using your friend. Also not good.
I have had friendships where I have felt like I was being used. Those friendships don't last very long. If you have a friend who has a special talent and makes awesome stuff don't use them as a source to get free stuff. Once or twice is okay but you can't expect them to keep making everything for you. Especially if they are using their own money to buy the materials. Plus they can begin to feel used.
Everybody has disagreements from time to time. Everybody is different and has different ideas and beliefs which is going to cause arguments. However, you can NOT go up to your friend say something that makes them cry and then walk away happily. 1) That's just not okay. You are their friend you should not be making them cry. 2) You made them cry you should have to deal with it. When you walk away you cause other people to "clean up your mess" 3) That should not make you happy. If you are happy because you made a FRIEND cry you should really think about your friendship.
I had my last day of high school and either people are really upset because they aren't going to see some of their friends again or they don't really care because you make your real friends in college. I have an issue with both of these. Firstly, who says when you make your real friends. With that mindset of course you aren't going to have the best friends in high school. Secondly if you don't want to lose your friends then don't. Keep in contact. Make sure you hang out together when you can. Isn't that why we have all of these social networks? Or are they just there so you can complain to everybody and get grief? Or show how popular you are?
That's another thing. Social networks. How many friends do you have on Facebook? How many Twitter followers do you have/follow? Do you actually talk to all these people. Are you ACTUALLY friends or have you just heard of them because they are one of the popular kids in school? All my friends of Facebook I have talked to on a daily basis at one point in my life. I know every single person. I don't have that many and that's fine with me.
A while ago I told some of my friends "If they don't want to be my friend that's fine. I don't really care." Something along those lines and their reaction was something of "That's so mean!" First off, I didn't mean for that to be mean. It's how I feel. Going into high school I tried to be friends with them and I was shot down. That showed me that they didn't want to be my friend. Instead of sucking up to them and continually trying to be their friends I moved on. I already had friends. I already had my best friends. I didn't NEED anymore friends. Now if somebody wanted to be my friend I wouldn't shoot them down. I am willing to make a new friendship. If somebody shot me down already and then want to be my friend, sure I'll be nice and talk to them but I don't know if we will be actual friends in my mind. I'm not trying to be mean. I have a certain definition of "friend" and it's rather strict.
We were signing yearbooks this last week. One of my friends asked me if I had a lot of signatures. I said no and that I don't need a lot. I prefer my close friends to write as much or as little as they want. If they take up a whole page awesome. If they don't that's awesome too. If they do write a whole page it doesn't need to be entirely heartfelt. Whenever I take up a picture I always add a picture and just random ramblings just so I can say I took up a whole page. I don't need all these people to sign my yearbook just to say something nice and to wish me luck in the future. Besides half the time people always complain about how they never know what to say when people they haven't really talked to want them to sign their yearbook. I'm not putting them in that situation, they should thank me (just kidding). If someone wants me to sign their yearbook I will have them sign mine as well. Why? Because that seems like the polite thing.
I requiring theme in these last two paragraphs is NEED. What I want and what I need is entirely different. But that's a whole different discussion.
If a friend tells you something really exciting what would your response be? Would you be extremely excited and want to know everything or would you suddenly change the subject because you've had a sucky day and don't care about the good fortune your friend has. I don't know about you but when I'm in a bad mood I at least pretend to show interest in my friends good fortune. Even when they change the subject on me.
I have been very lucky. I have amazing friends. Ever since we've known each other I think the longest we have ever been mad at each other is less than 24 hours. That's pretty impressive if you ask me. Now I'm not saying that I'm the perfect friend. I try but nobody's perfect and sometimes you're just in a bad mood to be the perfect friend.
Think about what kind of a friend you have been. Really think about it. Truthfully. Have you been a sucky friend? Have you done some things you regret doing (in terms of friends...focus on that right now)? How do you want your friends to treat you? Then treat them the same way. If you're worried about losing your friends then maybe you should think about how you're treating them.
It really bugs me when I witness people being stupid with how they treat their friends. I tend to be on both sides of every argument and it stresses me out when I see my friends in an argument. Why? Because I find friendship EXTREMELY important and it bugs me when people take it for granted.
Well I'm done ranting. I hope that made you think. If you have questions or need advice I'm willing to help just let me know. Stay classy and remember to cherish your friends because they take a lifetime to make and a moment to lose (yes I know, its really cheesy but its true).
Here's a fun song about friendship...with super heroes! I want to be your friend forever!
Everybody has disagreements from time to time. Everybody is different and has different ideas and beliefs which is going to cause arguments. However, you can NOT go up to your friend say something that makes them cry and then walk away happily. 1) That's just not okay. You are their friend you should not be making them cry. 2) You made them cry you should have to deal with it. When you walk away you cause other people to "clean up your mess" 3) That should not make you happy. If you are happy because you made a FRIEND cry you should really think about your friendship.I had my last day of high school and either people are really upset because they aren't going to see some of their friends again or they don't really care because you make your real friends in college. I have an issue with both of these. Firstly, who says when you make your real friends. With that mindset of course you aren't going to have the best friends in high school. Secondly if you don't want to lose your friends then don't. Keep in contact. Make sure you hang out together when you can. Isn't that why we have all of these social networks? Or are they just there so you can complain to everybody and get grief? Or show how popular you are?
That's another thing. Social networks. How many friends do you have on Facebook? How many Twitter followers do you have/follow? Do you actually talk to all these people. Are you ACTUALLY friends or have you just heard of them because they are one of the popular kids in school? All my friends of Facebook I have talked to on a daily basis at one point in my life. I know every single person. I don't have that many and that's fine with me.
A while ago I told some of my friends "If they don't want to be my friend that's fine. I don't really care." Something along those lines and their reaction was something of "That's so mean!" First off, I didn't mean for that to be mean. It's how I feel. Going into high school I tried to be friends with them and I was shot down. That showed me that they didn't want to be my friend. Instead of sucking up to them and continually trying to be their friends I moved on. I already had friends. I already had my best friends. I didn't NEED anymore friends. Now if somebody wanted to be my friend I wouldn't shoot them down. I am willing to make a new friendship. If somebody shot me down already and then want to be my friend, sure I'll be nice and talk to them but I don't know if we will be actual friends in my mind. I'm not trying to be mean. I have a certain definition of "friend" and it's rather strict.
We were signing yearbooks this last week. One of my friends asked me if I had a lot of signatures. I said no and that I don't need a lot. I prefer my close friends to write as much or as little as they want. If they take up a whole page awesome. If they don't that's awesome too. If they do write a whole page it doesn't need to be entirely heartfelt. Whenever I take up a picture I always add a picture and just random ramblings just so I can say I took up a whole page. I don't need all these people to sign my yearbook just to say something nice and to wish me luck in the future. Besides half the time people always complain about how they never know what to say when people they haven't really talked to want them to sign their yearbook. I'm not putting them in that situation, they should thank me (just kidding). If someone wants me to sign their yearbook I will have them sign mine as well. Why? Because that seems like the polite thing.
I requiring theme in these last two paragraphs is NEED. What I want and what I need is entirely different. But that's a whole different discussion.
If a friend tells you something really exciting what would your response be? Would you be extremely excited and want to know everything or would you suddenly change the subject because you've had a sucky day and don't care about the good fortune your friend has. I don't know about you but when I'm in a bad mood I at least pretend to show interest in my friends good fortune. Even when they change the subject on me.
I have been very lucky. I have amazing friends. Ever since we've known each other I think the longest we have ever been mad at each other is less than 24 hours. That's pretty impressive if you ask me. Now I'm not saying that I'm the perfect friend. I try but nobody's perfect and sometimes you're just in a bad mood to be the perfect friend.
Think about what kind of a friend you have been. Really think about it. Truthfully. Have you been a sucky friend? Have you done some things you regret doing (in terms of friends...focus on that right now)? How do you want your friends to treat you? Then treat them the same way. If you're worried about losing your friends then maybe you should think about how you're treating them.
It really bugs me when I witness people being stupid with how they treat their friends. I tend to be on both sides of every argument and it stresses me out when I see my friends in an argument. Why? Because I find friendship EXTREMELY important and it bugs me when people take it for granted.
Well I'm done ranting. I hope that made you think. If you have questions or need advice I'm willing to help just let me know. Stay classy and remember to cherish your friends because they take a lifetime to make and a moment to lose (yes I know, its really cheesy but its true).
Here's a fun song about friendship...with super heroes! I want to be your friend forever!
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