Volleyball

*Warning*

This blog contains a rant that won't be that exciting. I need to get something off my chest and this is the blog it's going to happen in. The grammar could also be worse than normal because of that...not to mention I'm shaking. Also because it's a rant it might not make that much sense.

I had tryouts all this week to see if I would make the volleyball team at my high school. Since I'm a senior the only team I could make is the varsity team. Well I didn't make the team (this is what the whole blog is going to be about so if you don't care, leave now. I warned you.).

I don't understand. I worked my butt off to make the team. New tests were added so that you would actually exercise over the summer and come to preseason camp in shape. Well I did those every day.
One of them was to run a mile. I woke up at 7:30 am every day to run that mile, and I still didn't make the time they wanted because I'm such an awful runner (thus the reason I ran everyday). I even ran the mile before preseason camp. That's a big deal because if you've been to preseason camp then you know that we do ridiculous conditioning (we ran 12 sets of stairs one day...and there are like 30 stairs to go up and then down) plus ab/arm/leg exercises in between. I ran a mile before that. That's a lot if you didn't already catch that.

In my gut I knew I wasn't going to make the team but there was still always a glimmer of hope so I would hold onto that. All day I was thinking about the bonuses of not making the team: More time to do homework, I could join the drama club like I've wanted to do (not act, because I can't but help make the set and such), I won't have to deal with the drama/politics (yes, there are politics believe it or not), I won't have to die during ridiculous conditioning, etc. However I never actually thought it would happen. I guess I didn't want to think about it. I tried to prepare myself for it because, like I said before, my gut was telling me otherwise. But it still hurt. Volleyball has been a big part of my life. I've been playing it for at least 7 years, 3 of those years I've played volleyball all year long. It's been an interesting adventure.

Elementary/middle school volleyball was good. I mean it wasn't that exciting because everybody made the team and we really weren't that good. It was still fun though. There also wasn't very much drama made me happy.

Freshman year was great. One of the best years of volleyball I think. All I have are good memories of it. It was a ton of fun. The coach is still a friend (I'm actually going to be student assisting for him) and the team was fun. There was pretty much no drama and if there was I didn't notice (something I'm good at doing even now). It was a great year.

Club freshman year was new. It was very hectic and by the end of it I needed a break from volleyball. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it. The team was fun and it was a good experience.

Sophomore year was also great. It wasn't quite as good as freshman year but it was still a lot of fun. The coach was also a ton of fun and I'm sure I'd still be friends with him but he moved out of state. The team was also fun too. We also won our tournament which was awesome. There was a little bit of frustration of not getting the appreciation some people thought I deserved but I didn't pay too much attention to it.

Club sophomore year. Much more dramatic. Not quite as fun. I still liked the team but there was more drama and judgements and hatred. I don't do well with that. I just don't like that (more detail could come in a later post).

Junior year was not so great. For the most part I really liked the team. However there was a lot more frustration on my part because I wasn't libero and the girl that was became very...proud (this also leads to more frustration and anger now but I'll get to that). She became full of herself thinking that she is so much better than everybody else. Truth is she's not as good as she thinks she is or as good as other people think she is.

Club junior year was pretty good. I was still frustrated but part of that was because I was learning a new technique at passing (I was on a new club with a new coach) and it was frustrating because at times it wasn't working out. Also some of my frustration from the school year came with it because I felt like I kept being over looked and I never understood why. Overall it was good though. The team was great, no drama at all (which is what I like). The coach was also fun and always believes in you, which is great. At the time I was probably really hard on him because I was so frustrated and too proud to admit that I was doing something wrong.

As you might notice junior year is where everything went wrong. Suddenly there was a freshman that everybody thought was great but really wasn't and I was over looked. Now I have been cut from a team altogether and I don't understand why.

When the coach told me and my friend, who was also trying to be libero (there were a total of 7 people trying to be libero), she said it was a bad year to go for this position and that she didn't like having to cut people. Where I'm sure part of that is wrong I can't help but feel there is more to it. When I first thought about if she told me I was being cut I was going to ask for a real reason. A reason why they other players beat me. What I did wrong. But silly me I didn't ask. Because I was with my friend I didn't want to make a scene. The coach also seemed genuine about not feeling like cutting us and I didn't want to seem like I hated her. Now I wish I had asked. I want to know why, not numbers, I want to know what she saw in the other girls that she didn't see in me. She said that we couldn't have tried harder. That didn't help.

When I got home and told my mom (I just shook my head because I didn't think words would work out so to speak). She wasn't happy. She started saying that the coach made a big mistake. When I told her who made the team that made her even more mad. Mainly because one of the girls was on the team last year when she really shouldn't have been, blah blah blah politics and nonsense not going into detail. The other girl was the one that beat me last year. That made my mom even more mad. "She's made a big mistake," my mom said. The other girl which I hope becomes libero I don't really mind because she was doing good but I still wish it hadn't been this way. My mom also told me that my club coach said if I didn't make the team we were ripped off. My friends have also been encouraging me too. One friend even said she'd kill the coach if I didn't make the team. I haven't told her yet. Nobody else knows except my friend that was with me, my mom, the coach, and probably the people that made the team when I had to take the "walk of shame" (I tried to make a joke about that with my friend as we went to get our bags to take our stuff off and go home...probably not the best timing or best joke...oh well).

Everybody has been so supportive of me. I have such great friends and family. I'm so lucky to know them. As I was driving home I thought about how I was going to tell my father since he's at work until later this evening. Then I began to wonder if they'd be disappointed in me. It was then that I realized that wouldn't happen if anything they would fight for me. If anything this is what really makes me emotional. Not making the team, that hurt but thinking about my friends and family...I just can't help but get emotional (if you don't know me I don't cry very often and when I do people don't normally see it). If your reading this and I know you thank you for your support. I'm sorry I didn't make the team but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

You should know that I'm not giving up on volleyball though. I hope I can be one of those people that goes to games and supports the team. I don't want to be one of those people that feels awkward around the people on the team or that hates volleyball. If it's okay with my parents I will do club again this year with the same team as last time and, if I can, I will play in college.

My rant is done if you read through the whole thing and are thinking "wow that was boring" I warned you at the beginning not to read it. Especially if you read my last post and thought to yourself "wow she seems like a ton of fun!" and then read this post I'm sorry if your disappointed but I needed to get this off my chest.
~Scooby

P.S. I also apologize if it doesn't make much sense or there are a ton of grammatical and spelling errors.